Pieces

Last night, I think I had the first and real conversation about DiD with my husband. Though he doesn’t understand on my level, he’s the only human being who ever understood enough to know I wasn’t a liar, I wasn’t just going through a psychotic episode….
We both broke down and cried, he told me no matter what happens, he will be by my side, helping me continue on this path I put me and the others on. The biggest fear I ended up having? He would leave. My husband is the only person who not only loves me, but understands enough. If I lost my only pillar of support, I don’t know if we all could survive that…

We have dropped full time employment, honestly, I’m slightly happy I did. The stress of working a full time job is so intense, I now understand why my psychologist says it surprises her I lasted as long as I did in full time. We now do part time graveyards, which we use to do anyways and where fine. Una will end up running me during the day though, which happens for the first few weeks until I can adjust to a night schedule. But everyone seems to be on board with this.
Xero is starting to pick up more of his duties, which is helping a bit with other stressors. I’ve learned he is the Flight response and my primal emotion of Fear in a sense. He senses danger, and is extremely careful around unknown things. It would explain a large amount to be honest, but I’m just happy he’s becoming more active. I was starting to worry he would neglect us all forever.

Service dog training is a bit easier with this work schedule too, I am able to go twice a week now instead of once. It makes training him so much easier. I’m still picking up the pieces of my bad week. Switching as much as I did, I’m shocked I even remember anything from last week…
Una wants to meet the psychologist, she even said I could sleep while she did it… I’m not entirely sure if it’s a good idea. When I’m not awake, she sometimes can turn mean rather quickly. They want to put me on a beta blocker to help control my nightmares and night terrors, my heart rate is already low naturally, so I’m not entirely sure if I should do it or not.
I guess only the week can tell…

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s