Crashing Down

This has sadly not been a great week… I pretend I’m fine, post happy statuses, smile and tell people I’m happy and fine. However in reality every single one of us is screaming, clawing, trying to make sense of this crash.
Everything was fine on Monday and on until about Thursday, then suddenly my stress level flared for no real apparent reason. Why now? There is no stressors, no reason for any of us to be freaking out about anything.
My psychologist tells me it’s normal to have random attacks of anxiety and stress since my secondary diagnosis is PTSD. I still don’t completely understand everything about all of my diagnoses, I always think I do, then suddenly there is something brand new sitting in the corner… it’s frustrating.

Also found my medications do not affect anyone, it only helps me. My husband found Alice up 3 different times last week, she was sitting in the dark, rocking back and forth. I guess the dog went and got him, or so he tells me. Alice said she’s having a hard time this cycle with the memories, and I told her it’s okay, and to have Una or Emily help her with them. Both, of course, agreed without hesitation; because despite what everyone thinks of them, they all support one another when needed, including me. Each one seems to fill some role in a family setting too…
Una is the mother figure, Xero is an older brother I think because he’s in no way a father figure. Alice is the younger sister, Emily is the older sister or a body-guard, none of us are really sure. Khala is the middle child probably, or she’s just the teenager sister who always causes mischief and mayhem. They are like a family I never really had, they want to spend time together and do things. They want to help one another, love one another…

I’m still shaking, the tremors in my hands just keep fluctuating between semi and stupid ridiculous shaking to the point I can’t hold a pen. I don’t get it… none of us seem to be able to stop them, or even make our stress levels drop. I wish I understood…. I wish I knew exactly why I am freaking out…. but sadly I think it’s going to be one of those episodes that have no explanation, just happen, and then fade out…

2 thoughts on “Crashing Down

  1. Thank you from all of us. We have never wrote much about things that happen or anything… So this whole experience is new. You too will get through it all, if we can, so can you. Hugs and strength my dears… hugs and strength ❤

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