Something Different…

My staph infection is finally gone, my test was cleared… but sadly more seems to pile onto me. I have found out my new friend knows my psychologist, so it made it easier to talk to her about what happened.
Last Wednesday, I helped her with her son by returning him to his father. Police escort, the whole 9 yards. Well, we pull up and he’s trying to use binoculars to look inside the police car. Then I got out with her son who held onto my hand and the 2 officers.
When His dad came out, I felt that child tense uncontrollably, watched him go completely silent, his hand sweating, then when he let go, he walked robotic like towards his father.
We have seen that… multiple times in ourselves and in our brother.
Emily and Khala both came within seconds of being triggered, I had to turn and leave as quickly as possible before either of them killed him by accident…

When we got back, I explained it to her, but she seemed to not fully understand what I even was talking about, she didn’t understand…
Xero and Emily have been arguing since then. Khala wants to find him, abduct him, and make him die from pain… I just want them to stop arguing…
So on Thursday, my PSA passed his Good K-9 Citizenship test… so he’s now officially registered as my PSA. I took him to work with me on Saturday and Sunday, with my husband ill and all the stress going on with the triggering, it was good I did.
My work schedule was full of STAT cases… both Saturday and Sunday where all ER patients.

However on Monday (yesterday), my supervisor calls me to tell me, “It has been brought to my attention that you brought your dog.” I told him yes because he is fully certified now. He told me “That was not part of the original accommodations, and you cannot bring him since he poses a threat our clientele…”
I lost it… According to ADA law, I am allowed to have him, I do not work in a area that needs to be sterile for operations or burn units… I have my RIGHT to bring him… but due to them insisting I need documentation and saying mine isn’t enough I ended up switching to Emily.
My husband and PSA sat with me for 5 hours as Emily just sat there; no speaking, and not even moving. The anger I had was just… I can’t even describe it sadly.
Today I told my psychologist, and she helped me look up the rules and stat/national registries. She helped me print out the rules and get Merlin registered, she said in her own words “What there pulling is bullshit.”
She told me to give her the numbers to call them, and I was to set up the next ADA appointment and bring them a copy of those rules/laws that she gave me. So I am… but I feel so awful in general…

We are so triggered by everything right now, I can’t even tell you all how many times we’ve switched around… I don’t even remember most of Wednesday night and Thursday… all I remember is the K9 test. Xero has been in a self mutilation mood… Emily wants to slam her head into a wall… Alice and Rina are doing what they can to help me numb out… I’m just… I just wish something different would happen instead of the same things repeating, on different days………

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