It has been quite some time since writing, with the holidays and such, it was hard to really do much of anything.
Updating wise, my ADA complaint is still ongoing, I have given my investigator everything, now I just wait. My place of employment still is trying to make me give them information, which I don’t have to by law. I am hoping that on the end of all this, I end up bring awareness of some degree.
Khala decided to be a problem child again, causing great tension between my husband and I, however, thanks to his wonderful understanding and patience, we have worked out a non-verbal system that will hopefully keep Khala in check for the future.
We also discussed having my siblings out at home, sometimes they just want to be out, he agrees its completely fine. He said he might be cautious at first, but over time he will get use to it. Emily has already taken that as a green light and has gotten up a few different times during her sleepless nights, which my husband has responded great too.
Merlin and I have been doing well, he performs his jobs and tasks beautifully, and is still the highlight of the conversation every time where in public. My husband was explaining how in tuned he was with me to a few extremely close friends last Friday. He told the story of a time I was in the bedroom, having a mini-meltdown. My husband was completely unaware, but Merlin awoke from a dead sleep, stood up and went in and flopped right down on top of me. My husband got up to see what happened, and then was shocked to find me sobbing with Merlin just letting me hug him.
He said that he had no idea what was happening, but the dog did
I have reached a point to where I honestly am done trying to hide myself, done trying to hide my siblings, and done trying to pretend everything is ‘fine’.
Yes, I have mental illness. Yes, I need medications. Yes, I need a service animal. Yes, I have lost a number of people because of my alters. Yes, my alters can be extremely hard to interact with.
But am I sorry for this? No. I am well aware of these facts, but honestly I really don’t care what the ignorant people think anymore. I have friends I can count on one hand, and a husband who have not only dedicated time and energy to understanding, but are patient with me and my siblings. I have lost people I cared for because they can’t seem to understand its more then just ‘You’re a liar’ or ‘Get over it’…. We survived, we are survivors. If you can’t accept that, then good for you. Now go spread your ignorance elsewhere.
I am proud to say yes, I am a survivor, and I did a damn good job at it. This year I am striving to walk a path with my alters, not apart from them. Here’s to many more moments kiddies ^_^