The Grey

We went and saw our psychologist yesterday. Emily ratted me out, explaining I have been over sleeping to the point of worrying my husband, and I am not eating. She had us fill out a few things, that she made a few phone calls herself.
We are suppose to receive a phone call from a psychiatrist sometime today, he specializes in disassociation. She explained it would be good to see someone who doesn’t dismiss my siblings as ‘no longer needed’ or ‘ not real’. She wrote me a letter about disability leave, and I am suppose to also receive a phone call from Cigna today to discuss the process.

I was revoked control rights for the last few days, so Una set everything up. I was picking to the point of bleeding, once I get into the realm of self mutilation, I guess I get my control revoked. Xero and Khala had to help get me out of bed the last 4 days, Merlin helped when I was fighting against it. He’s been attached to me since Saturday morning, seems he knew what was happening faster then I even did.
He has been redirecting my attention quite a bit, he’s doing just about everything he was taught to get me to avoid mutilating my fingers, arms, legs and seems I have picked up picking my face now.

I’ve been reading a bit about body art challenges and normal art challenges for mental health. I am thinking of trying one of them while all this is going on, I may not be amazing at art, but I feel it might be able to help me a little bit.
My breast ultrasound follow up is today, I’m not to excited. I also have blood work to do for the Depicote, to make sure it isn’t screwing with my pancreas.
Hopefully all will be okay… I am not excited, but my husband managed to get the day off, so I at least won’t be going alone. Merlin’s Rabies shot is scheduled for later this afternoon, so I am hoping after I get his rabies, I can start bringing him again.


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