Deteriorate

One thing that tends to be a recurrence within my life is how intense things sometimes get… it normally leads to people becoming upset, tears, and honestly? Leaving. When everything seems to fall apart, I always lose at least one person…
Sometimes I wonder if I’m just overly intense to deal with, other times I wonder if it’s just the concept of the fact I have (sometimes) misbehaving alters who end up turning my life upside down for a while.

I lost someone precious to me today, I understand why she needs to leave, I honestly do. She needs to focus on her own mental health, and honestly I’m just making it worse. It’s heart breaking you know?
Losing someone you loved so dearly. But then again, I should be use to this by now. Sorry, that sounded meaner then I meant. Ever since I was young, I lost people one by one. You think, ‘finally, someone who will be friends with me forever’ but it just never works out.
I really don’t get it, but at the same time, I really think it’s because of my alters…

I have 2 suicidal alters, it’s hard sometimes to control them. I think people have a hard time understanding that, but then again, I could be completely wrong, and just assuming things like I normally do.
I can’t help but feel like something is wrong with me, but then again, I guess there is if you think about it logically.
Sorry, I’m pretty messed up right now… guess I can’t make sense.

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