The Human Stain

We always try really hard to not say anything that would offend someone, it’s hard for most of us to comprehend things, let alone spit out a reasonable response without it sounding wrong.
The day after my breakdown, I had residual effects going. I could hear and see things that where basically my flashbacks bleeding into reality. It wasn’t helping that my husband was at work. So I tried to call a friend, however it seemed he and a few others were playing a video game together…
So I just decided it was better to sit and bare it. My friend ended up calling me back, but he told another friend of mine (one I accidentally said something idiotic too due to not comprehending what he said correctly), which sparked a wave of worry. My messages were…. I guess hard to understand, and he was afraid I was in a dark place (he was right, but you get what I’m trying to say).
I explained my situation, then He handed the phone over to my other friend. I started to sob, saying I felt like an idiot, and that I felt horrible. He told me it was okay, he didn’t care about any of that anymore. All he wanted was to make sure I was safe, so he told me to get into my car with my Service Dog, and head over until my husband could be home with me.
It was hard for them to see me the way I was, body twitching, muttering things to myself (there words). They weren’t quite sure how to help us, all they could do is make sure is we had a safe place… and people watching over us. I cried a few times, but it was okay, they helped me just feel better by telling me it was okay to cry and be afraid, but to remember they where sitting right there with me.
I ended up with free dinner, and we watched something called Harmon Quest, which Emily thought was hilarious.

Then yesterday, I was working on my raised garden bed when my dogs decided to go behind it and mess around. It fell on me, it was extremely painful. Luckily I managed to crawl out and lift it back up with the help of Z.
I began having a mini panic attack, I tried calling my husband but he wasn’t able to answer. So I tried my parents. My mother decided it was a great idea to tell me ‘Well at least you didn’t break both your arms’
Yes… because I would totally be able to get help if I did…
My dad didn’t answer.
So in a panic I kept calling my husband, however finally Alice and Lucy managed to put me to sleep while the rest did damage control. My husband called worried, but after talking with him I felt a little better.
I slept until he got home… then once he was able to calm us all down, I fell back asleep…
I think it’s the most we’ve slept in a very, very long time.

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