Pain

For the last two weeks, I’ve been in quite a bit of pain. It’s been effecting everyone… including my service dog. He’s been tasking non stop, causing him to become stressed. I haven’t been able to make appointments, get out of bed…. it’s just been slowly degrading.
I have some help, but sadly he doesn’t understand entirely.
Today has been the lowest point… I’ve thought about death, I’ve felt suicidal feelings. That darkness slowly creeps into your mind and taints your thoughts.

The pain doesn’t help… it’s radiating from my back, but everything is pulsating. I feel like I’m dying a slow and agonizing death.
Una and Vera are doing what they can to pick up extra, Rina, Xero, and Rin are unstable; so it’s been hell. Z is helping with Xero, Hex is helping me with Rina and Alice… poor Alice is already overly stressed by everything.
Emily is currently sedated by Alice, she went berserk yesterday… so it’s been an ongoing struggle. Lucy is useless… but that’s only because of her narcolepsy. Rin is currently being watched by Z as well, he seems to be really good with Xero and her… it’s helpful.

I’ve already gone off on two people for the stupidest things… I just… everything is so messed up right now.