One thing we tend to notice, repeatedly, is that the scars we obtained while fighting this ongoing war are always looked down upon. One thing we really don’t understand is when Politicians and other higher authorities look at people like us, and more, and just stop at a rather hard stigma word…. mentality ill.
We understand both sides of this, trust me. However they seem to be more afraid of us, though most things that are considered fear worthy are caused by individuals who are not like us or like the community we share.
Honestly most of the mental health community still remains in hiding due to this, and thanks to Hollywood’s poor impressions on things like Depression, Anxiety, Bi-polar, DID, and so much more.
We didn’t chose to be like this, nor do we honestly enjoy the negative consequences that come with our break downs or triggering. Luckily, there are people within this community who honestly fight for us every day, and know what there talking about. For instance, Gail specialized in Dissociating, and for years worked with patients with DID, and began to search for more education until she was recognized by the psychological board that she is an expert in DID.
We see her every week, she has fought hard for not only to prove I was discriminated against at Banner Health, but submitted everything she has to the Social Sincerity office to help prove to them I am, sadly incapable of working RIGHT NOW. We and her both believe once I can learn the coping skills to deal with my triggers, and we all can co-exist, we’ll be able to work.
However the downfall is I was tossed around from therapist to therapist, people who didn’t know what the hell they where talking about, and it ended up regressing any progress I had by myself. So we’re all sadly starting from ground zero. Most places in my state discriminate against those who have a service animal for psychological reasons, and have not been in the military (they seem to think you need to be in the military to have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -_-).
We still try and apply to jobs, despite all this judgemental crap.
The scars we carry are a symbol of survival, who cares if there not ‘pretty’, though most won’t acknowledge this, those like us who have these scars, are indeed fighting the war everyday. It’s a different kind of war, it’s a war only we can see, and feel, and become wounded or killed by.
We have been abused, beaten down, experimented on, attacked, verbally insulted to the point we believe we are scum of the earth, sexually assaulted, raped, and yet we are still standing tall, moving forward… even if we fall back a few steps, we still manage to get back up and keep going.
We have support from very few people, but those people are what keep us from dying, keep us strong, help us up when we can’t stand on our own.
We have battle scars that could scare people, even those who have been in the military… I do. My family member who was in Special Ops and is a Sniper was horrified by what happened to me in middle to high school. He said he would kill them, but I told him what was the point now? 3 are dead from OD’s and suicide, and one is somewhere that I honestly don’t care where.
What’s done is done, all we can do is move forward. We all are fighting a war that most can’t see, but at least we have the scars to prove we survived.